Finding Space in the Valley

Sometimes Being Present Requires a Time Machine

This weekend, I found myself in the Shenandoah Valley, Virginia. It was a break from the usual chaos – concerts, meetings, endless emails – and it hit me differently. I was at a conference, but somehow, it felt like stepping into another world. A world where things moved slower and more deliberately.

In my book, Controlled Burn (affiliate link), I talk about how changing our surroundings can change us. This trip was that idea in action. It wasn't just about being in a new place. It felt like hitting pause, giving myself permission to just be there, in the moment.

I had these deep talks while I was away. One was with an old friend with whom I was able to share stories and who reflected them back to me with the feel of a trusted outsider. It's the kind of talk that turns your view on its head, showing you that things you're wound up about might not be as big as you thought. The other chat was with another old friend, now leading a church, struggling with the switch from always doing and moving and creating and ideating to just being, finding calm in the routine and ritualistic.

For me, this trip was like standing on a threshold – a place where past and present meet. It let me look back, be in the now, and then come back ready for what's next. In this post, I'm sharing what this all meant for me and how we might all find our own moments of real calm, even when life doesn't want to slow down.

The Power of Stepping Away

Being there, in the valley, was like taking a deep breath after holding it for too long. It’s easy to forget how much you need that breath until you take it. The town’s slow rhythm was a stark contrast to my usual run-around. I’m talking about days filled to the brim – teaching, planning productions, sorting out endless details. But here, time seemed to stretch a bit more. I could savor my meals without rushing, walk without a destination in mind, and just sit back and watch life unfold at its own pace.

It reminded me of something important – that sometimes, we need to step off our daily track to see things clearly. It’s not about dropping your responsibilities; it's about giving yourself space to see them differently. It's like when you’re so close to a painting, all you see are blurs and brushstrokes, but step back, and the whole picture comes into focus. This weekend was my step back – a chance to see my life’s painting from a new angle.

Conversations that Shift Perspectives

One of the highlights of my trip was catching up with an old friend. We talked about everything under the sun (but mostly theatre), and it struck me how freeing it felt to chat with someone who isn't wrapped up in the same daily grind as me. The conversation was enlightening in the sense that I left it with a sense of my burden lifted — not just because I liked the person or our shared stories, but because her perspective showed me I didn’t have to carry so many things so heavily.

Then, there was this talk with an old friend who’s stepped into a new role: leading a faith community. We delved into the familiar struggle of always being 'on,' always hustling. He shared how he's learning to embrace moments of quiet and simplicity, trying to find a balance between doing and just being. Hearing him talk about his journey, I saw reflections of my own – that constant battle between wanting to do more and needing to just be still for a while.

These conversations, in their way, were as refreshing as the Valley's air. They were reminders that sometimes, the insights we need come from voices outside our daily chorus, offering us a new tune to consider.

A Liminal Space & Time

That weekend felt like standing at the crossroads of time – a liminal space where the past, present, and future all mingled together. Walking through the town, with its slower pace, felt like stepping back in time, reconnecting with parts of myself I thought I’d left behind. It helps that the town looks, by my average daily standards, old. It’s a gingerbread Victorian village, a mountain town with a charm I simply haven’t found elsewhere. My visit was a chance to remember old dreams, old ways, and old stories.

Even though the memories of the past were strong, each moment there let me be fully present, a rarity in my usual day-to-day rush. I wasn’t just passing through these moments; I was living them, breathing them in. And when I packed up to leave, I felt charged up in a way I hadn’t in a long time. It was as if that step back in time gave me a clearer view of what’s ahead and a renewed energy to face it.

This kind of pause, this break from our usual time track, is more than just a nice getaway. It’s a necessary reset. It lets us recharge, rethink, and maybe even rekindle old parts of ourselves that we’ve forgotten in our hustle. It's these little escapes that give us the juice to keep going, to jump back into our busy lives with a fresher perspective.

Bringing It Back Home

Coming back from the Valley, I carried a piece of that calm with me. It’s funny how a short trip away can change how you see your everyday life. Now, sitting at my desk, sifting through emails and planning classes and upcoming doctors’ appointments, I find myself taking a few moments to just breathe, to remember the quiet streets and the easy conversations. It’s like I’ve brought a bit of that slower pace back with me.

This experience has shown me something vital: we don't always need a grand escape to find peace. Sometimes, it's about finding those small moments in our day to slow down, even if it’s just for a few seconds to remember a quiet morning in the valley. It's these moments that help us keep our heads above water in the sea of our responsibilities.

So, here's my takeaway for you – and for me, too: find those little breaks, those small shifts in perspective, and use them to fuel your days. Maybe it’s a memory of a quiet place, a laugh with an old friend, or just a moment of sitting still amidst the chaos. Let’s use these pauses not just as escapes, but as tools to bring a bit more peace into our everyday hustle.

Join the Conversation & Our Community

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences about finding peace in the hustle of daily life. Have you had a similar experience where a change of scenery brought new insights? Or maybe you’ve found little ways to create moments of calm in your everyday routine? Share your stories in the comments below – let’s learn from each other and build a community that supports and inspires.

And if you haven’t already, consider subscribing to controlledburn.substack.com. It’s not just a blog; it’s a growing community where we share, explore, and discover ways to bring more presence and mindfulness into our lives. Your voice and perspective would be a valuable addition to this vibrant community. Plus, you'll get updates straight to your inbox on new posts and discussions.

Lastly, if this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with friends, family, or anyone who might appreciate a little nudge to find their own moments of peace amidst life’s busyness. Let’s spread the warmth and wisdom of slowing down, together.