Insomnia & Creative Connection
I've been wrestling with insomnia lately. It's been far from a pleasant experience to find myself wide awake at three or four in the morning, trying with all my might to coax my body back into slumber.
Interestingly enough, this round of insomnia seems to have timed its entrance almost perfectly with my return to work after a delightful, restful summer break. It's like my sleep schedule has decided to play its own little theatrical performance, just when I need a solid restful night's sleep the most.
I've tried a lot of things to battle this elusive sleep thief. From surrounding myself with comforting brown noise, to practicing calming breathing exercises, and even drowsy attempts at prayer. I've carefully managed my medications, hoping to find a magic remedy. But alas, nothing seems to quite do the trick. And now, a few weeks into this nightly tango, I've probably unintentionally trained myself to be a connoisseur of the quiet hours before dawn.
The ripple effects of this sleeplessness have been rather challenging to navigate. When the sun is high in the sky, I manage to be "on" or "good" for a fleeting couple of hours. But beyond that, it's like I'm a sleep-deprived zombie, treading water in a sea of fatigue.
However, as with many things in life, there's a silver lining. Those sleepless nights, despite their disruptive nature, have a strange way of ushering me into a unique state of reflection. It's as if they reveal a hidden doorway to my own thoughts, beckoning me to explore the corridors of ideas, memories, and dreams that I might have inadvertently brushed aside during the hustle and bustle of daylight hours.
So, while I'm no fan of this current bout of insomnia, I'm learning to make the most of its wakeful presence. Perhaps it's a gentle reminder that even in the midst of restless nights, there's an opportunity to unearth the gems of creativity and introspection that tend to get buried in the busyness of everyday life.
Here's to hoping for a good night's sleep, and in the meantime, here's to embracing the quiet moments of contemplation that the night offers.
Jeremy: a great thoughtful piece. I too struggle with insomnia but like you, I ‘ve discovered the deep reflection that can come in those late night, sometimes beautiful mooned skies. I keep my file of favorite poems and passages nearby to read. Or I just sit and stare at my lovely peaceful dog. I Wonder if he dreams, and about what. Sometimes I roam my little home and look out windows for stars or moon or sheer blackness. I let my mind wander where it will…and eventually I try my bed again. It’s so very quiet, a soft quiet that envelops me and my boydog. Sometimes the path back to sleep is simple and easy; sometimes not. Then I do my “grateful” exercises—mostly thinking that I am lucky to be here, mostly very healthy in mind, body, and soul at 77. This has been a very full year for me of both travails and transcendent tidings. For both, the insomnia is well worth all I’ve learned and had to unlearn. And in my case, there can usually be a nap the next day.
Your posts trigger thoughts of all kinds. Glad for them.